By A N
A hotel in Cyprus, Olive Bidet Resort and Spa, has cracked down heavily on the fiercely competitive world of pool chair claims, throwing a German couple out of after repeated warnings to “Cut that sh!t out.”
Olive Bidet’s manager, Mr. Vier Zoll, explained the reason for the crackdown: “Each year its get more ridiculous. We have our staff out there during the night, working over-time just removing the towels people have placed after dinner, or trying to catch people sneaking in the staff changeover.”
Some people are sending towels to the hotel 3-4 days before they arrive, asking us to send a photo when the towel is in place.
The hotel, like many across Europe, has long dealt with the incessant claiming of pool lounge chairs, with Germans, Russians, the Dutch and British some of the worst offenders.
Said one Welsh man, Mr Ceilliau Chwyddedig, caught up in the melee: “The deck chairs aren’t Flanders. You just can’t go around claiming things like this anymore.”
The German couple, interviewed exclusively by the Global Hammock, defended the practice, claiming: “Everyone else is doing it.”
In fact, the guest, Herr Geteilter Bodenand, pointed out that many other hotel guests were doing the same thing with the delicious tasty pork sausages offered at the hotel’s delightful buffet breakfast, priced at a very competitive €11.95: “All zie Brits are taking 2 or 3 of ze sausages each time zey pass ze buffet, in case ze sausages run out at ze buffet.”
(The Global Hammock may or may not have been offered a free lunch at the buffet, provided we mentioned somewhere in the article that each Tuesday the hotel offers 30% of a carafe of its house wines).
travellingsmarter
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